July 1st, 2021

Is It Me? Or Is It My Therapist?

Written byJacqueline Simon APRN, PMHNP-BC

Clinically reviewed byKathleen Simervil MSPA, PA-C, CAQ-Psych

Many people have a hard time with the idea of enrolling in therapy. If you have done it, that is great! You are taking steps to become a healthier you. Most who enroll in therapy find that they experience some life-altering changes, and most of the time, these are positive. However, some people may find that they are not experiencing the positive effects they want from therapy. You may need to give it more time, or it may be time to look in a different direction.

Therapy Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Much like how one-size-fits-all hats do not fit every person’s head, not all therapists can treat your head either. Successful therapy requires establishing a relationship with your therapist, and sometimes those just do not work out. This is not a failure on your part, but another way to learn what you actually need. It is okay to advocate for yourself and find ways to weed out things and people that do not work for you.

Therapists Are Professionals, But They’re Also Human

Therapists are licensed and trained professionals. They may verbalize things that are painful for you to hear or guide you to intense realizations that lead to hurt feelings. Hurting your feelings is usually not the intent, but a therapist may realize that you need a breakthrough in some aspect of your life. Their diagnoses can be shocking, and their recommendations may seem unnecessary. Even if their diagnosis upsets you, they should be able to give you specific criteria and examples that explain why their diagnosis makes sense. Remember to try doing the things your therapist recommends, because it may surprise you and help significantly. It is also okay to disagree with your therapist. Even though they are professionals, you can ask for a second opinion. Therapists are human and could be misreading what you say to mean something else or fitting what you tell them into a preconceived box. Therapists can make mistakes or may not be able to bond with a client due to their own trauma or mental health issues. Many therapists feel intense negativity toward people who have wronged a client, which can cross boundaries and cloud judgment. If you feel like you are not clicking with your therapist or getting the results you need, consider seeking a different therapist.If a therapist ever crosses a boundary relating to your safety or says things that seem inappropriate, you have a right to challenge them and report what happened to a supervisor or even law enforcement. Therapists should never cross any boundaries that make you feel like you are in danger.

You Should Be Seeing Positive Change

It can take a therapist a long time to get through to the root of your issues or a diagnosis. Some clients are not fully honest with their therapist for fear of judgment or consequences. Other clients cannot verbalize what happened to them or have repressed memories coming back that are not fully formed yet. It takes both consistency and dedication to get the full benefits of therapy and it is important that you try what your therapist suggests. They are professionals who have studied how to best help their clients, but they need you to be fully honest and open to change. Change can be scary — but in the name of healing, change is vital.In the past, negative stigma about therapy was present among society, the news media, and even in movies and television shows. Thankfully, a lot has changed since then. Just as you would go to a doctor to diagnose and heal your body, therapists are highly trained to diagnose and heal your brain.

How To Search for a Therapist

If you are unsure if therapy is for you but you know that your mental health is struggling, give therapy a try. If you are concerned about cost, talk to your insurance provider and find out what the co-pay would be. There are also free government-run programs available for anyone who needs help. Some therapists who run their own practices also offer cost-effective payment plans. If you feel the need to break it off with your therapist and look for a new one, the National Institute of Mental Health offers a list of tips for finding a new therapist. Check out their specialty and what type of therapy works best for you. If you are ready to try something new, explore this with your doctor. What are the therapist’s credentials? What will their goals be for you? Take the time to speak to a few therapists if you can to help you make the best decision. You deserve to feel safe and happy and be able to function without fear and trauma consuming your life. Therapy can help. Therapists are highly trained and will work to help you feel better about whatever is ailing you. A therapist may verbalize your feelings in ways that make you upset due to shame or past experiences, but it is important for these breakthroughs to happen. What you find on the other side makes it all worthwhile. If you are struggling with mental health issues, addiction, or feel unsure about your therapist, contact us at RECO Intensive. At RECO Intensive, we understand that learning about our own brains and verbalizing our feelings can be scary at first. It can also feel freeing, enlightening, and give you the ability to heal. Here at RECO Intensive, we cater your treatment experience specifically to you and your needs. We know that therapy is not a one-size-fits-all experience, and you deserve the help that will best serve you. Our professional staff and experienced alumni are here to guide you. Call RECO Intensive today at (561) 464-6533. Let’s get back to a brighter future.

Is It Me? Or Is It My Therapist?

Therapy Is Not One-Size-Fits-All

Therapists Are Professionals, But They’re Also Human

You Should Be Seeing Positive Change

How To Search for a Therapist

More from the journal

What Is Dual Diagnosis Treatment and Who Benefits Most

What Are Evidence Based Therapies Used in Rehab Programs

Top 7 Signs a Loved One May Need Addiction Treatment

When you’re ready, we’re here.