Rehab Romances: What’s Healthy and What’s Not
According to research published in the Frontiers of Psychology, romantic love is “a state of intense longing for the union with another.” Love is often characterized by feeling happy contentment with another person. But as with all things, not everyone’s love story is happy. Many romances end bitterly and carry the weight of emotional trauma. […]
According to research published in the Frontiers of Psychology, romantic love is “a state of intense longing for the union with another.” Love is often characterized by feeling happy contentment with another person. But as with all things, not everyone’s love story is happy. Many romances end bitterly and carry the weight of emotional trauma. Starting a rehab romance and feeling the rush of new love may be exciting, but at what cost? There’s a lot to think about when it comes to your first big romance after treatment. Most importantly, your personal health and safety should come before anyone else’s.
Why Rehab Romances Should Probably Be Avoided
During and immediately after treatment, you are in a delicate stage of your life. You’ve just made significant life changes, and your relationship with yourself is changing rapidly. It is difficult to juggle a large life change (even a positive one) with a change that requires you to compromise and change other aspects of your time and focus. Some thoughts and questions to consider:- Rehab romances can reinforce a false sense of security. If you’re overly dependent on this romance to keep you afloat mentally and in your sobriety, what happens when you run into issues? What happens when it ends?
- Rehab romances between two people who are struggling mean that both could be making questionable decisions for their health and safety, influencing bad decisions, or creating an unhealthy environment for the introspection that is vital during recovery.
- Instability in your life after treatment will not make a romance easier. New romances are often unstable, with a major learning curve. As much as you want to support each other, either party’s instability can ultimately bring you both back to square one.
- Codependency issues often arise in rehab romances. Reliance on a romantic partner is not healthy in recovery. Your ability to stand on your own two feet should never be taken for granted.
- Rehab romances often instigate immature love rather than mature love. With the only references of relationships being before or during addiction, immature love is more likely to take place in rehab romances. Mature love encourages growth, individual well-being, and a strong sense of self, while immature love is filled with power games, obsessive thoughts, concerns over fidelity, “clingy” behavior, stress, and uncertainty.
